Can you love by practising, through effort, through thought, by being told year after year, day after day, that you must love? Then it merely becomes a kindliness, which is not love, although love does include kindliness, gentleness and concern about another. Love comes only when there is no fear. But love is not a result; love is there when there is no attachment. One can be married, one can live with a family and love without attachment. That is incredibly arduous; it requires watching all the time.