Meditation is necessary for a mind to be completely still. When the mind is completely still, it is in total order, and there is not a single movement of energy wasted. That silence, that quietness, that complete tranquillity of the mind is not something put together by thought. That is what you have been doing, trying to bring about silence, quietness, peace of mind, and in that there is control. You are trying to control thought, which is wandering all over the place. You have never inquired into who is the controller and the thing controlled? A segment of thought tries to control the wandering movements of other thoughts, and you sit quietly and want to meditate. You sit quietly, and your thought wanders off, and the controller brings that thought back. Another thought comes up, and you think about something else, and again this battle goes on. You call this meditation, but it is a total waste of energy. Can the mind be free from all control? Give your heart to find out.